"How to Redecorate Your War Room with the Innards of Your Minions"

Brownstone and Moe Eskie laughed gleefully as the forward ranks of the Octom fleet decimated the last remnants of the defending ships.  The pathetic space fleet of Ming the Merciless had proven no challenge at all.  The leading 10 to the 8th ships of Octom armada encircled Ming's home planet, Mongo.  The fleet opened up with full siege weapons, evaporating oceans and leveling mountain ranges; cracking the crust and sending continents into upheaval; sublimating ice caps and just generally really fucking up the planet.  Bad.

  Once the planet had been blasted into fine powder, Brownstone plopped down heavily into his CommandChair and grinned at Moe.

  "Well Moe, I'm getting bored with dicking around, wailing on inferior species.  We gotta find Kirk...wherever that dweeb is, there's sure to be a smidgen of action.

  "Well," said Moe, "I figure this cosmic ring thingee might help us do that..." He fingered the black, mystic gemstone on his ring.  "Let's get some engineers in here and see if they can tell us how it works."

  "Good idea.  GUARD!  Send in a techie."

  A tall, thin Octom Technician strode into the room.  He bowed humbly before Brownstone's hulking form.

  "I want you to tell me how this thing works!" boomed Brownstone, holding out the ring.

  "Well, without some tests and research, I don't think that I can-"

  The tech was reduced to greasy hamburger helper.

  "Let's see if the next engineer is more...user friendly.  NEXT!"

  Some time, and alot of big messes later, a gifted OctomTech discovered the secret of the ring.  It simply needed a mental command from its wearer while he performed a blood sacrifice.  Brownstone and Moe were about to pounce on the Tech and slaughter him while wishing to meet Kirk, but the Techie was jumping with joy because he thought he'd saved his life, and slipped on the slick, gore-smothered floor.  He smashed his head open.

  They soon had fresh meat again, in the form of a nearby security guard.  Moe plunged a Fangs of the Serpent knife (this one had been used upon a father by his very son.  (only true nerds will get this...did you?)) into his heart.  They both wished to know where Kirk was, and their wish was granted.  The ring glowed black, an expanding sphere of pure darkness expanded and engulfed Moe and Brownstone...and they thought they heard a vile tittering...and faint piping flutes...

  Vertigo took over...they seemed to exist in many places at once.  The Blackness surged and pulsed around them like a living entity.  There was no up or down...no outside or inside...they couldn't tell if they were moving or standing still; being given knowledge like a surging tide, or being drained of it as a leech extracts blood from its host.  The darkness was seething with both order and chaos...and there was no telling which was winning...   

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