YOU SAY TOM-AY-TO, I SAY TOM-AH-TO

BY: PUNISHER

Legolas held the torch ahead of him at arm’s length.  Its pale light only made the dim shadows seem more hideous, as if each one concealed some unseen unspeakable horror.  Gimli stood right behind him, his head on a swivel, waiting for the enemy that would surely come.

  Gandalf had sent them on yet another spy mission for him and had given Legolas a magical teleporter to use.  The user simply had to think of a place and they would get there.  Legolas had thought and here they were.  Where exactly though, they did not know.

  They came to a large room with a solid stone block in the center.  They had been here before.  Gimli moved closer to the stone.  He could just barely see an inscription on the stone.  “The torch,” he whispered hoarsely to Legolas.  Legolas quickly handed it to him, eager to rid his bow hand of a useless object in combat.  Gimli looked closer at the stone and the inscription resolved itself.  He blew some of the dust away…and the letters were DWARVISH?

  “What in the name of Smaug?”

  “What’s is say?” Legolas asked. 

  Gimli looked closer in the gloom.  “It says…Here lies Balin, son of Fundin, Lord of Moria…what the…why the hell would Gandalf want us back here? This place has been dead since the War.”

  “Gandalf always has his reasons.  But I must agree with you dear friend.  This place appears deserted.”

  “I know it is…a party of dwarves returned just last month to the Iron Hills reporting that they had tried to resettle Moria.  There are just too many bad memories in the halls, and you can’t get the stink of Balrog out you know…it just stays there.  No.  Sauron really did a number on this place.  There’s nothing here.  Are you sure this is where Gandalf said to go?”  “I’m sure.  He handed me a scroll with some really weird name and said we were to go there straight away.  I recognized the name to be Moria and here we are.”

  “Just to be sure, what was the weird name?”

  “I don’t remember, but I still have the scroll.” Legolas dug into his pack and brought out the scroll.  He unrolled it.  “Here it is,” he began to read out loud...  

         “Dear Legolas and Gimli, I am required to call upon your esteemed services once again to stand in the path of evil.  Make all haste to..."

  …I can’t pronounce this name but I recognize it as the Dwarvish name for Moria…"

  ...and spy out the happening there.  I fear the Shadows are afoot again.  Enclosed with this scroll you will find this amulet which acts as a magical teleporter.  Simply think of the place you go and there you will be.  The amulet should also keep you unobtrusive…provided you don’t do anything stupid.  Make haste.  Your Friend, Gandalf the White."

  "How do you say that name again?”

  “Moria…the hall of my ancestors…in the Dwarven tongue is pronounced Khazad-dum.”

  “Yes...that’s it.”

  “Still there is nothing here.  It is not like Gandalf to send us to spy on nothing.  Better let me see that scroll.”  “Here…but I can read as well as you can.” Gimli took a look at the scroll…”Ah! You idiot elf!  This does not say Khazad-Dum!!! It says Z'ha'dum!!

  We’re 16 light-years off course!”

  “Oops...my bad,” the elf shrugged. 

  “I shouldn’t have come.  I’m endangering the mission.” The Jedi looked ill at ease on the NCC-1701 D bridge.  “Do you feel that counselor?”

  Troi answered, “yes…I sense an evil presence near here.”

  “That’s Palpatine.”

  “But there’s something more…pure evil…pure chaos…it’s everywhere.” Troi couldn't take anymore and stay sane.  She shielded her mind.

  “You see Captain, you have your validation.  This is why I brought you here.”

  You had enough power to bring a starship all the way here?”

  “The force works in strange ways…but there’s no time for that.  The New Republic is in dire straits…it seems the Empire has found a new ally…something so evil…I can’t even explain it.  That’s why I needed your help.  There’s a special mission I need you to carry out….”

  Data interrupted.  “Commander Skywalker, what is it you called the ship that was pursuing you again?”

  “A Super Star Destroyer…why?”

  “It just found us.”

  Regula station loomed on the Enterprise view screen.  Kirk’s anticipation grew.  If the scientists on Regula station had managed to open Hyuj’s box (no one else had to date), then they might stand a chance against this unspeakable darkness and the so-called Great Old Ones. 

  “Gandalf.  Where is Hyuj?  How does he fit into all this?”

  “There are some things that are hidden even from a wizard Kirk.”

  The helmsman interrupted.  “Sir we’re in range.  Sensor readings are erratic.  And I’m picking up chronoton particles all over the station’s hull.”  

“Bring us in on a standard orbit.  Uhura hail them.”  

“Regula station.  This is the starship Enterprise.  Come in.” She repeated the message. 

  “There’s no response sir.”

  Spock said the inevitable.  “They are two possibilities.  They are unwilling to respond.  They are unable to respond.”  

“There is a third possibility.” Gandalf stood suddenly becoming agitated. 

  Spock raised one eyebrow.  “And what it that?”

  “I fear it is not good.  Gandalf the Grey was here…and Hyuj’s box went with him.” 

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